Hey all,

Thanks to all the great folks who came out for the final night of the One Night Band reunion series last night.  Special thanks to Ashley at Boston Band Crush for organizing this really fun event and my fantastic Champagne of Bands-mates for bringing the noise like only they can.

When I have a moment, I’ll fill you in on all the sexy details.  In the meantime, this is the Chef’s take on last evening:

Chef’s Requests for mid week rock shows at places like the Middle East Upstairs:

Thanks,
The Chef

Not content with simply letting the magic happen, Tim “The Chef” Delaney gives us another report from Disney World:

Review of the Disney Meal Plan:

Let me be clear – We had a terrific time at Disney World.  The place is great – clean, friendly and a lot of fun.  But their meal plan was a pain in my ass. 
 
So we had the following dining plan during our recent trip to Disney World:  1 Table Service Meal, 1 Counter Service Meal, and 2 Snacks per day.
 
First off, I don’t know what the fuck any of that means.  So that put me at a disadvantage to start.  Its like Disney designed an alternative food currency for the sole purpose of screwing me, just a little, everytime I went to order something to eat. 
 
Here is a scene that played out several times during our trip:
 
It comes time to pay for some food.  The Disney Person presents me the bill and we have the following conversation:
 
DP:  Do you have a meal plan?
 
ME:  Yes.
 
DP:  How would you like to pay for this then?
 
ME:  Umm.  With the meal plan I guess.  Right?  Shouldn’t I use that?
 
DP:  Well certainly sir.  Would you like to put it through as 6 snacks?  or 1 and 1/2 Counter Service Meals?
 
ME:  How the fuck should I know?
 
DP:  Or, actually, you could use a Table Service and 3 snacks.  Do you know how many Snacks you have left?
 
ME:  Absolutely not.
 
DP:  Oh ok.  Well it might depend on what you have left.
 
ME:  Ok.
 
DP:   Would you like me to check to see what you have left?
 
ME:  Are you serious?  How the hell else do you expect me to perform the alt math necessary to arrive at my method of payment unless you tell me what the fuck I have left?
 
DP:  Sir that sounds magical.  Let me just pull up your account.
 
(Meanwhile, several people with a combined 211 extra and decidely needless pounds packed onto their asses start to get needlessly restless in line behind me.)
 
DP:  Oh no…sir I am sorry but you only have 2 snacks and 2 counter service meals left.
 
ME:  OK.  Why is that bad?
 
DP:  Well you need at least 3 Snacks and 3….
 
ME:  Ok I get it.  Just use what I have and put the rest on my room.
 
(Meanwhile, the fat line behind me starts commenting to themselves about which Meal Plan I SHOULD have getten.)
 
DP:  Absolutely sir.  So I will put that through as two charges if that’s ok?
 
ME:  Holy fuck.  You know what?  Fuck the meal plan – I will just pay for the food with American style dollars.  You win again, Disney.
 
Honestly it wasn’t that bad.  But it was tough to keep a running total in your head of “meal units remaining” while you tried to keep your 10 month old son from eating lincoln logs in the Whispering Canyon Cafe’s waiting area.  If I had to do it again, I would save up extra money before the trip so we could get some sort of “get whatever you want and don’t think about it plan” or I would just buy things like I normally do – I mean I gave up keeping a running total of actual dollars in my life a long time ago.  In the end I am more comfortable screwing myself than I am getting screwed by Disney.  Hey oh!  Look out!

The bad news is that our esteemed lead guitarist Tim “The Chef” Delaney is not going to be able to make the big Somerville Armory show this Friday.  The good news is that he is enjoying a relaxing week in motherfucking Disney World with the family.  The Chef took some time from his busy schedule interacting with felons in giant character heads to file this report: 

Disney World is great.  It is incredibly clean.  Everyone who works there is nice and generally capable.  But add a couple of young humans into the mix and things start to get weird. 

Disney World with children under three is a hallucinogenic experience.  Interrupted sleep makes you delirious to start.  Our daughter would blurt out random things in her sleep, usually something that had happened that day.  But she couldn’t quite match up her tone of voice with the sentiment of her words.  For example, she would blurt out, “Mama, I want a snacky” in her sleep but she would apply the tone usually reserved for something like “I’m on fucking fire – get some water you douchebag!!” 

Add to this lack of sleep some larger than life walking stuffed animals that don’t talk and lots of humans that do talk saying things like “Have a magical day” and “Hey, I hope you make magic happen today!” and you definitely start to lose your shit a little bit.

Make magic happen?  I look like a huge magic bird crapped magic all over me:

The Chef and his latest creation

But you know what?  Despite the lack of sleep and 30 degree weather (classic Orlando), we really did get a bunch of magic dumped all over us and it was great.

Sincerely, The Magic Chef

With our new record “The Sweet & The Brutal” just freshly new and pressed, we’re still waiting for the reviews to see what the ever-important rock critics think about our latest tour de force.  But I was thinking – why wait for the “press” to chime in?  Why not just review it ourselves?

So I turned once again to the tasty purveyor of the hot licks, my lead guitarist Tim “The Chef” Delaney.  Here is the actual email he sent to me when I delivered the final mixes of the record for his approval right before we went to print:

Sincerely,

The Chef