Me:  Yeah, they must have scanned and copied my card.

Officer:  Uh huh.

Me:  I have no idea how they did it.

Officer:  Yeah, they’ll do that.

Me:  Okay, anything else I should do?

Officer:  Get rid of your ATM card.  Just use a credit card.  You idiot (implied).

Me:  Thanks, that’s good advice.  What else can I do?  Maybe grow a big stupid moustache?

Officer:  Huh?

Me:  A big stupid moustache,  Think I should grow one?  I mean – couldn’t hurt, right?

Why is it that even when they’re helping you, the police have a way of making you feel like they’re taking a crap in your mouth?  Is it me?  Do I just have a natural problem with authority?

Brendan Boogie: Basically, this is more of a conversation between fellow musicians than an interview, so feel free to ask me questions as well.

Mike Epstein: Oh, I thought I was asking all of the questions…

BB: You can if you want.

ME: Where were you on the night of September 23rd?

BB: Trick question. We’re only in January. There hasn’t been a September 23rd yet.

ME: Okay, you’ve earned the right to ask me a question.

BB: So where do you stand on the whole Conan/Leno debate?

ME: I find Conan much funnier than Leno, but I’m also always glad to see TV networks making dumb decisions and blowing tons of money. It gives me hope that they may someday completely disappear.

BB: I have been getting the feeling lately that everything is going to disappear. Everything’s just going to be so incompetently run that it’s all just going to go away. Everything – we’re just going to be kind of walking around, looking at each other.

ME: It would be pretty amazing if incompetence resulted in spontaneous combustion. I’d vote for that; you know, if God used referendums.

BB: Well, my band would certainly need a new leader if that were true. So you are in two very different musical projects, the Motion Sick and Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling. What’s it like working on such different types of music?

ME: The biggest issue arising from the differences between the two bands is that playing guitar and playing bass result in blistering/callousing on different parts of my fingers. Apart from that, it’s just all about having fun making music and somehow convincing people that it is in their best interest to listen to said music. I also really like having two completely different sounding projects. There is very little concern regarding which band a song should go to, for example.

BB: Being in a band with your wife (Sophia Cacciola) seems like it could make for some great material for songs. Do you ever write about each other?

ME: I’ve only ever written one song about her – “30 Lives.” She, however, didn’t accept it as a deep and meaningful profession of my love, but rather thought it to be about video games. Sophia, on the other hand, claims that every song is about me. Given that Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling is currently doing a set of concept songs about episodes of The Prisoner which was made before I was born, I conclude that the songs cannot be about me.

BB: Or that she feels like a prisoner in your loveless sham of a marriage.

ME: That is a possibility. Also, I demand that she calls me Number 2 and I call her Number 6. But very recently, some kids down in Texas used “30 Lives” as the first dance at their wedding, thus proving that it is a valid love song.

BB: I saw that video. That must have been a tremendous feeling.

ME: Yes, the wedding dance was probably the best musical thing that has ever happened to me. Musical “success” comes in weird ways I suppose, but it seems like having “30 Lives” in Dance Dance Revolution got us heard/seen by more people than everything else we’ve done combined…and led to this first dance thing.

BB: Speaking of licensing music, you’ve just started a new project. What’s going on with that?

ME: Sophia and I – I mean Number 6 and I have started a company called Launch Over. I’ve been working really hard at licensing The Motion Sick’s music for several years with decent success. I’ve been developing contacts in that area and constantly see calls for music that we just don’t make. Every time I saw a call or got a request, I kept thinking, well I know this band that sounds like that. Finally, I realized that the most useful thing I could possibly do was put together a collection of great Boston music and try and shop it around for placements. Licensing seems to be a really important revenue stream and exposure source for bands now and most local bands don’t have their hands in the cookie jar at all. We did create it structured as a business, but our real, honest focus is on raising the profile of the Boston music community.

BB: You guys, more than anybody, seem to really care about the scene. You’ve recently stepped down from your posts as heads of Boston Band Crush. What did you accomplish with that site of which you were most proud?

ME: I was just really happy that we were able to create what we set out to accomplish: a resource for learning about some of what is going on in Boston to help encourage people to become familiar with local bands and go out to see them. Our goal with BBC was really to try and help unite a broader cross-section of artists in Boston and let people know that there are great artists here – local music can be bad, but it can also be great. I don’t know that most people realize that. I think a lot of things just came together by luck in 2009 and Boston’s music world got 10x better. There is still a ton of work to be done, but I think a lot of us are learning how to make it happen more and more. I also think Facebook, believe it or not, has played a significant role in this process.

BB: I was talking to Brian King of Oranjuly about what facebook whores we are. It’s an essential tool in getting the word out, though.

ME: Honestly, I don’t consider it whoring. We’re communicating about what we’re passionate about. Just like someone else might be very excited to talk about American Idol or Mad Men, I am very excited to talk about my personal creative endeavors. In fact, I think it’s much less interesting to talk about TV or news stories on Facebook. If someone is not interested in what I’m doing, they can unfriend me or block me or whatever. I have realized that I can’t be concerned about whether I might offend each of the people I am friends with. I just have to talk about what excites me and let them decide if they want to be part of it. Also, I should say, I almost never block anybody and I make a significant effort to keep up with everyone’s status updates.

BB: I’ve only blocked ex-girlfriends who seem to have moved on. I shouldn’t have to subject myself to that shit. They should stay hung up on me forever, damn it!

ME: Fair enough. I will block people that spam me. Recent spammers were constantly posting on my wall and events about becoming a fan of a movie they were making and voting for them in that stupid new casino theme song contest (I’d rather not even plug the name of the place) that’s absolutely and totally exploiting bands by making them send their friends to the casino’s web site to register and vote. We actually more or less don’t participate in online voting for any competitions for our bands anymore.

BB: When I was in Scamper, we were famous in coming in 2nd place in online voting. It was kind of our “thing.”

ME: Yeah, online voting is just BS.

BB: I don’t even like real voting. Democracy? No thanks. So let’s talk about this show at the Lizard. It’s your first time playing there, right?

ME: This is indeed my first time ever playing at The Lizard.

BB: You excited?

ME: Excited understates the swell of emotion associated with this event.

BB: Can we expect anything special? Got any surprises planned?

ME: We actually decided to play a whole bunch of songs off our first record that we have not played in a long time. This is also our penultimate Boston show before we take a break from playing live for several months to finish recording. There are rumors that Steven Tyler will join us on stage, but I don’t know if they are true because I just made them up now.

BB: I’m not above lying to get people in the door. We might have a visit from Mr. Ted Danson. I mean, we MIGHT. It’s theoretically possible.

ME: I actually heard that Lady Gaga will be there.

BB: What’s the new record going to be like and when can we expect it?

ME: In this ever changing musical world, there is more and more confusion regarding how to release songs and albums. So, we’re doing more things at a smaller scale. We’ve actually got 3 releases in the near future. First, in February, we have a release for a split 7″ with Golden Bloom. It contains our cover of their song, “Doomsday Devices” and their cover of our song, “30 Lives” and will only be available on vinyl and as a digital download. We are also just about to release a set of 4 novelty songs that we wrote and prepared for a residency at Church two Summers ago. That will likely see a digital-only release. It may also be packaged with some other TMS rarities of some kind. We’re not sure yet. Finally, we are working on a 4-song EP with Anthony Resta at Bopnique. It’s a set of songs with an underlying story, though it’s not really quite a “concept” album. It’s about a time in the future when there is no music and the world is at peace and then someone finds a guitar and it causes turmoil. It’s called 3112.

BB: Is the person that finds a guitar a ki d with a beard at a college party? Because I always caused turmoil in college when I whipped the guitar out.

ME: No, but seriously, it’s a set of songs exploring some underlying themes including the dual meaning of the word “flight” and how with great power comes great responsibility. …and also, mutants have to be registered.

BB: The ironic twist is that they have to be registered at Macy’s.

ME: I was thinking that mutants had to register for online voting for a casino. I will actually reveal here the 4 song titles for the first time: 1. Winged Bicycle 2. Disappear 3. The Violinist 4. Helicopter

BB: You totally ripped off those song titles from Abbey Road.

ME: 5. Here Comes the Sun

BB: So I’ve got to say – you and Sophia are two people who have done more for the local music scene than anyone else I can think of. I hope everyone appreciates how lucky we are to have people like you in our town.

ME: Thanks very much. There are a lot of people doing great things around here, both musically and to provide support to the creative endeavors, and we’re really honored to be part of both.

BB: It almost makes up for the moustache. Almost.

ME: Yeah, it’s pretty inexcusable, but it did land me a role in TraniWreck and I am entering the Somerville mustache competition in February. I actually keep thinking about shaving it off, but I must keep it to bring joy to all of the people of the world.

BB: Anything else you want to add?

ME: If you come to the show at The Lizard, you will have fun. If you go to any other show, you will have a bad time.

BB: That’s a Michael Epstein guarantee?

ME: I guarantee it or no money back!

Be sure to check out two new novelty songs from Mike and the boys just posted at The Motion Sick website.  Tickets for the big Saturday night Lizard Lounge show are available here.  Better safe than sorry – this show is starting to look like a popular one.

As this is the time of year for such things, the good folks over there have been asking local rock luminaries to contribute their year-end lists.  Here’s me having a little fun at the expense of that asshole Mike from The Motion Sick:

Brendan’s Top Ten List

Knowing Mike, revenge will be slow and bitter.