Overheard – Brendan on the phone with a Receptionist trying to book a massage:

Receptionist:  We’re pretty booked up this week… oh wait, I have an 11am on Sunday.

Brendan:  Great.  I’ll take it.

Receptionist:  All right.  Is it going to be just you?

Brendan:  Uh… yeah.

Receptionist:  I only ask because we’re getting a lot of couples this weekend.

Brendan:  Okay.

Receptionist:  Because it’s Valentine’s Day.

Brendan:  So… 11 o’clock then?

I’m not sure what this woman was trying to get at.  I mean – she could tell by my voice that I’m a guy, right?  I couldn’t be more thrilled to be single on Valentine’s Day. 

In my opinion, Valentine’s Day is the single greatest day to be single.  Sitting back, watching all the chumps deal with their stupid, made up bullshit - it’s fan-friggin-tastic entertainment.

So have a Happy Valentine’s Day.  Your stress is my amusement.

Overheard between Brendan and former Fooled By April rock god Joe Welsh:

Joe: I need to lose a lot of weight, but I think the only way I can is to hack off a limb.

Brendan: Go with the leg.  People will have more sympathy.  If you only have one arm and DON’T play the drums for a hair metal band, you’re up shit’s creek.

Joe:  True.  In a wheelchair, I could hide my gut with a blanket.

Brendan:  And you could hide sandwiches under you.  Sandwiches go everywhere.

Joe: I really like sandwiches.

Brendan:  My diet is a good 90% sandwich.

Joe:  They are good.  Why deny it?

Brendan:  If loving sandwiches is wrong, I still want to eat lots of sandwiches.

Joe:  The other day I had a PB and R – peanut butter and raisin.  That was all I had in the house.

Brendan:  The verdict?

Joe:  Fucking delicious.

Brendan: You’re an innovator.