I had a great time playing my Storytellers show at the Rosebud Bar in Davis Square.  Great crowd, good friends – got to play with the old Brendan Boogie Band as well as the Best Intentions.  Just a wonderful night of fun.

The crazy thing is that I had 3 and a half hours and I ran out of time.  I had to cut like 10 songs.  My songwriting volume has officially reached the “ridiculous” mark.  I don’t know what to do about it.  The hits just keep pouring out of me.

As part of the Storytellers show, I had a “Question Bucket” into which people could write anonymous questions and I’d answer them.  Unfortunately, I ran out of time and didn’t get to all the question, but here are the ones I didn’t have time to fully answer:

Tell us about a time you got laid.

I’m sorry but that was not in the form of a question.

Why are my knees so cold?

Are they?  Or are your thighs and shins unseasonably hot?

What is the atomic number of plutonium minus the number of Sham-Wows sold in Utah during the week of April 7th, 2009?

There were actually NO Sham-Wows sold in Utah that week.  You know, because of the Book of Mormon.  So the answer is 94.

Which of your knees is your favorite and when did you first realize this?  Please answer in French.

Hou la. Il y a eu beaucoup de questions à propos de mes genoux à ce spectacle. Vous êtes tout un bouquet d’idiots obsédés de genou.

What did the deaf, blind, and paralyzed kid get for Christmas?  Cancer.

You answered your own question, rendering me wholly unnecessary.  Kudos.

Who wrote the Book of Love?

In my adolescence, I saw a porno called The Book of Love once starring Nina Hartley and featuring a gay genie.  Ah, the days when porns had plots.

There is a fox, a chicken, and chicken feed.  You have to get them over to an island.  You can only take one at a time.  If you leave the chicken and chicken feed alone, the chicken will eat the feed.  If you leave the fox and chicken alone, the fox will eat the chicken.  How do you get them all to the island without them eating each other?

Okay, I’ve heard this one before.  First, I take the chicken over.  Then, I take the fox over and take the chicken BACK.  On the canoe ride over, I impregnate the chicken.  When the chicken lays an egg, I make some French toast (I always keep challah bread in my pants) and serve it to the fox.  While the fox is complaining that the syrup is not Vermont maple, I throw the chicken feed in the river and teach the chicken the cha-cha.

I hope that answers all of your questions.  Hooray for human interaction!

Hey beautifuls,

I’m preparing to leave for my big West Coast mini-tour tomorrow.  How can a mini-tour be so friggin’ big?  It’s one of the paradoxes that makes me such a compelling figure.

Here are the dates:

Thursday March 11 8pm
Skylark Cafe
Seattle WA
www.skylarkcafe.com

Monday March 15 8pm
Rockit Room
San Francisco CA
www.rock-it-room.com

Not sure what kind of internet access on my trip, but I’ll be hopefully giving updates as I go.  I’ll say hi to Frasier and Danny Tanner for you!

Hey friends,

Check out the new installment of Dear Boogie on Boston Band Crush.  In this week’s column, I address the pressing issues of dancing, memory, and Patrick Dempsey.  You don’t want to miss it.

Speaking of dancing and not missing out, I strongly suggest you get your advance tickets for this Saturday’s Cover-Up.  It’s the hottest ticket in town.  Don’t be shut out!

I was in the supermarket today when genius struck.

As I watched the Kindly Russian Deli Girl behind the counter slice my liverwurst (that’s right, I like liverwurst), she eyeballed what appeared to be roughly a half pound of meat as per my order.  Then, she carried the liverwurst over to the scale and weighed it, realized she was a slice short, brought the liverwurst back to the slicer to add one more slice, then finally put the meat on the scale once again.

A lightning bolt of awesome struck my head. 

“You know what would be a great invention?” I asked.

“Huh?” retorted the Kindly Russian Deli Girl.

“If they took the scale and put it under the slicer,” I continued, undeterred, “That way, you’d know exactly what it weighed as you went and would save yourself the two trips.”

“Uh huh,” nodded the Kindly Russian Deli Girl.

“Feel free to pass that idea on to your superiors!”

As the Kindly Russian Deli Girl smiled politely and put a little giddyup in her liverwurst-bagging to get rid of me, I realized – this is a REALLY good idea.  Like, I could patent this shit and make some goddamn money off it.

But then another lightning bolt hit me – I’m an incredibly lazy man.  So I’ll just post the story on my blog and wait for someone to steal it.  You’re welcome, Mr. Shaw’s.

Wow – it’s going to be a busy March for your pal Brendo, isn’t it?

Here’s an announcement for an upcoming show:

Storytellers with Brendan Boogie Saturday March 20 at the Rosebud Bar

Here’s the deal with this show – it’s going to be me at the Rosebud Bar all night long.  I’ll be telling stories, answering questions, talking up a little shit storm.  I’ll also be playing new music, old music, medium music.  I’ll be playing acoustic, electric, eclectic.  I’ll be playing alone, with band members past and present, and with special guests galore.  Basically, its going to be a big ol’ night of me me me.

You know what would be helpful, though?  For you to submit some of your questions via the interweb for me to answer on stage.  You can always hit me up at brendan@brendanboogie.com.  Ya ya ya know it.

When I return from my West Coast Mini-Tour, I look forward to seeing your smiling faces at the Rosebud, one of the most fun new venues in town.

Those of you who follow the Boston music scene have probably read the recent article about Township in the Boston Phoenix in which my friend Marc Pinansky is (uncharacteristically) cranky about the state  or in fact the very existence of the Boston music scene.  A few of my compatriots who have worked hard to build said scene are (understandably) a little miffed at this sentiment.  Here’s my (unsolicited) take:

Do I think there is a vibrant Boston music scene?  Absolutely.  Can it be cliquey and unimaginative at times with the same 4 or 5 bands playing bills together over and over again?  Sure.  Is there any writing device more annoying than a series of three rhetorical questions?  Not really.

Personally, I feel like I play with a lot of different types of bands.  Part of what I try to do with my shows – whether its with the Cover-Up series or any of the myriad events like Festival Holidad or the Champagne of Bands reunion – is to do something different, original, and creative.  One of the main goals of these events to me is to play with people outside my little circle.  In my mind, it’s been a great success – the Cover-Up alone has featured an incredible variety of acts from different circles and different age groups.  We bring out different audiences and expose people to some of the great talent this town has to offer.  In general, I am pretty much in love with the Boston music scene.

That being said – I’m a pretty positive person in general.  I tend to see things through a “glass half full of tasty strawberry Quik” perspective.  Not all local musicians are like this.  Many of them are depressed alcholics with undiagnosed personality disorders.  Some were positive at one time, but had the love of the scene ground out of them by too much time in shitty rock clubs and not enough Vitamin D from the sunlight.  Some are frustrated that their obvious talent isn’t being rewarded with money, fame, adulation, or whatever.  Some are just tired of it all, but don’t know what else to do.  And some are just bitter assholes.

And honestly - that’s cool, too.  That’s their bag.   Convincing someone to be positive about something is one of the more useless wastes of energy of which I can imagine.  There are a ton of us who recognize the greatness and positive support in this lovely Boston music scene.  Last night, I was at the Middle East and saw five amazing bands, hung with a bunch of equally talented friends in the audience, and made connections with new people, planned future shows, etc.  Tonight, I’m going to do it again at the Rosebud (with those controversial assholes Township, no less).  It’s a great life.

Those of us in this scene that work hard, stay positive, and feel like we’re a part of something awesome can’t be discouraged when a band or a writer or a fan shits on us.  They’re seeing it through their shit-colored glasses.  I don’t get mad about it – I just feel bad for them.  By allowing themselves to feel isolated in a sea of potential friends, they’re missing out on a lot of connection, creativity, and love.  Sharing music with others is one of the great joys of my life and I try to appreciate it every day.  And I pity the fools that don’t.

This situation reminds me of an old Chinese proverb.  A man is walking toward a village and sees an old man by the side of the road. 

“Old man,” he says, “What are the people like in this village?”

The old man responds, “What were the people like in your last village?”

“They were wonderful, generous, and kind.  They’d give you the shirt off their backs.”

“You’re in luck,” said the old man, “That’s what the people in this village are like.”

The man smiles and moves on.  A second man approaches the village.

“Old man,” he askes, “What are the people like in this village?”

The old man responds, “What were the people like in your old village?”

“Terrible.  Gossipy, back-biting, and complete untrustworthy.”

“You’re out of luck,” responds the old man, “That’s what the people in this village are like.”

Thus endeth the proverb.   See you out at the shows.

Because I don’t have enough to do with the whole “local rock god” thing, the good people over at Boston Band Crush have given me my own advice column!  Check out the debut of “Dear Boogie” at 9:26am this morning!

If you’re in need of some advice, hit me up at dearboogie@bostonbandcrush.com.  I promise to change your life.

That’s right, you can own a piece of Cover-Up lore by purchasing the broom and mat set used by yours truly when I sat in with The Blizzard of ‘78 for “Harvest Moon” during this weekend’s Neil Young Cover-Up.

All proceeds go to charity!  Great for any Brendan Boogie-obsessed stalkers!  Get it here.

Overheard – Brendan on the phone with a Receptionist trying to book a massage:

Receptionist:  We’re pretty booked up this week… oh wait, I have an 11am on Sunday.

Brendan:  Great.  I’ll take it.

Receptionist:  All right.  Is it going to be just you?

Brendan:  Uh… yeah.

Receptionist:  I only ask because we’re getting a lot of couples this weekend.

Brendan:  Okay.

Receptionist:  Because it’s Valentine’s Day.

Brendan:  So… 11 o’clock then?

I’m not sure what this woman was trying to get at.  I mean – she could tell by my voice that I’m a guy, right?  I couldn’t be more thrilled to be single on Valentine’s Day. 

In my opinion, Valentine’s Day is the single greatest day to be single.  Sitting back, watching all the chumps deal with their stupid, made up bullshit - it’s fan-friggin-tastic entertainment.

So have a Happy Valentine’s Day.  Your stress is my amusement.

Hey all,

Thanks to all the great folks who came out for the final night of the One Night Band reunion series last night.  Special thanks to Ashley at Boston Band Crush for organizing this really fun event and my fantastic Champagne of Bands-mates for bringing the noise like only they can.

When I have a moment, I’ll fill you in on all the sexy details.  In the meantime, this is the Chef’s take on last evening:

Chef’s Requests for mid week rock shows at places like the Middle East Upstairs:

Thanks,
The Chef