My opponents want to come after me? They don’t know who they’re messing with…

The depths to which my opponents will sink is unfathomable. There will be swift and just response, I assure you.

This is an… interesting way to get elected…

I believe in democracy and fair choice. Here is the video of one of my opponents, Mr. Leo Blais:

Something about that guy I don’t trust, but hey – it’s your vote. Throw it away if you want.

I’m pink, rested, and ready to lead you to a new tomorrow.

Come see the final Nate vs. Nate battle tonight at the Lizard Lounge.  Here’s the set times:

12am:  This Blue Heaven

11pm:  The Doctors Fox

10pm:  Brendan Boogie & The Best Intentions

9pm:  Glenn Yoder & His Merry Band

Should be a fun, eclectic night of rock music.  Come beat the heat in the cool welcoming confines of the Lizard basement.

It’s time for the third and final Nate vs. Nate: The essay contest!

Round 3

In 500 words or less, please describe why you should be considered the Primary Nate of the Best Intentions at the show at the Lizard Lounge on June 19. Please cite your sources. Pencils up and BEGIN!

Nate Rogers’ essay:

Primary? Well, now let me see. You know, I don’t have any idea what that means.

I know what *you* think it means, sonny. To me it’s just a made up word. A politician’s word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?  There’s not a day goes by I don’t feel regret. Not because I’m in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that.

Primary? It’s just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit.

WORKS CITED

Freeman, Morgan perf.  The Shawshank Redemption.  Dir. Frank Darabont.  Based on the short story “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” by Stephen King.  Columbia, 1994.

Nate Leavitt’s essay:

I’ve never been good at writing essay’s plus they always remind me of the time my father made my sister write one about why underage drinking and lying is dangerous. So, I want to take this opportunity to write a Haiku.

Nate, in a word, great
One must be modest in life
With humility

Wow. Two truly terrible essays. I can’t decide which one I hate more. On the one hand, Rogers quoted one of my least favorite movies of all time, almost guaranteeing a loss. Then again, Leavitt knows that I am a haiku purist and that in order for a poem to truly be a haiku, it must involve nature in some way. Just 5-7-5 is NOT a haiku. Leavitt knows how I feel about misappropriating the ancient Japanese poetry forms. We’ve had many discussions about this over beers.

I’m going to have to go ahead and declare this one a draw and call for an sudden death overtime. This Saturday night at the Lizard Lounge – the final showdown between Nate Leavitt and Nate Rogers.

Let’s settle this the old fashioned way – by rocking.