Things About Which I Will Never Write Songs
Over on the facebook (friend me. I’ll totally be your friend) a couple weeks ago, I mentioned that anyone who wrote a song about pot should stop writing songs. I mean, if all you can write about is getting high, you have got no creative juice left. Sorry, bra.
This got me thinking – what other subjects are stupid? So here are a few things I can promise you I will avoid writing about altogether:
- “The outskirts of town.” This one appears in several of your finer ballads from troubadours of the Springsteen millieu. I have no idea where the outskirts of town are. As far as I know, I’ve never even been in a town with outskirts. I’m convinced there are way more songs about outskirts than actual outskirts. Someone prove me wrong.
- “Riding/driving/rolling down the highway,” Now, I have actually rolled down the highway several times in my life. In fact, I spent a good portion of my day today rolling down the old highway. And maybe I’m frequenting less scenic interstates than my songwriting brethren, but there’s nothing particularly art-inspiring about the sea of asphalt and assholes I sit in every day. Unless I decide to write some lyrics about a careless prick about to ram into my rear bumper because he’s texting with one hand, picking his nose with the other, I’m going to pass.
- Cumquats. An entirely uninspiring fruit and furthermore impossible to find a rhyme.
- Politics. Don’t get me wrong – there have been some great politically-based protest folk and rock and roll songs through the years. Music can be a great catalyst for social change. The reason why I will never write anything political is that social commentary has reached its apex with the latest from the Adam Ezra Group: “Down in the basement/trying to contemplate the scene/Of a billion dollar stimulus/And what its going to mean.” That should about solve the problems of the world. Suck it, Bob Dylan!
- Love. Come on – doesn’t exist.
Anything else I should avoid?
Tags: blog, cumquats, songwriting, terrible lyrics
